I decided I needed a nicer last tumblr post, this is one of my favourite songs ever and hopefully it will stay that way.
I’ve only listened to this like 10 times today, the lyrics are fairly appropriate for today, just love Valentine’s Day.
This is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard, and the lyrics are close to my favourites ever.
Home- Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros
There is nothing I don’t love about this.
Final posts ever I’ve decided will be some of my favourite songs of all time, this should end on a better note than a rant.
“So if I asked you about art, you’d probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life’s work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I’ll bet you can’t tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You’ve never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that.
If I ask you about women, you’d probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can’t tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy.
You’re a tough kid. And I’d ask you about war, you’d probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, “once more unto the breach dear friends.” But you’ve never been near one. You’ve never held your best friend’s head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help.
I’d ask you about love, you’d probably quote me a sonnet. But you’ve never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn’t know what it’s like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn’t know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms “visiting hours” don’t apply to you.
You don’t know about real loss, ‘cause it only occurs when you’ve loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you’ve ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you… I don’t see an intelligent, confident man… I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you’re a genius Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine, and you ripped my fucking life apart.
You’re an orphan right? You think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally… I don’t give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can’t learn anything from you, I can’t read in some fuckin’ book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I’m fascinated. I’m in. But you don’t want to do that do you sport? You’re terrified of what you might say.
Your move, chief.”
I thought I’d made a lot of progress this past year, in many aspects of my life, but looking back I’m at exactly the same place I was about a quarter of the way through last year in terms of my own self-worth, personal relationships and just general disposition (which is quite awful at the moment). So often I feel like I’m stuck in a loop and I can’t escape myself no matter what I try. I’m also resolved to change my priorities. As far back as I can remember my personal relationships with other people have been the most important thing to me, and quite often are the determining factor in my happiness or lack thereof. For the most part the latter has been the result and of course the people causing my unhappiness don’t know that they are and I can’t tell them what they’re doing to me because they’ll think I’m a clingy freak. So I just remain in a state of discontent. I’m going to shift my focus from now because I can’t handle it especially on top of all the other pressures I’m facing. Likely, it will result in me being a bit of a jerk to some people because I’ll need to convince myself I don’t have as much time for them as I would usually be willing to sacrifice but what I’m doing right now isn’t working, none of it is.
It’s also recently come to my attention that people ridicule a lot of what I post here so this will be the last thing I post before making a new tumblr because I wanted this to be entirely mine but people made it whatever they wanted it to be in their minds, if they wanted it to be something to laugh at that’s what it was and I don’t want that. I don’t know why people can’t just let things be the way they are and not try to make sense of them in turn twisting their meaning. It’s highly likely none of this will make sense to anyone but me.
I hate this. It’s so true. People are always getting angry at you for something, but they don’t realise they’re the ones who have made you so broken
I am craving a 90’s movie marathon right now.